12.12.13

School Days

Aisha's school days has not been as good as imagined. I should have expected these troubles, but I simply thought she would be happy to go to school. She is happy with school , but her problem is 'Mom should sit at school'.
On the second day, she started crying when we reached the school gate, and was shouting at the top of her voice when I was going back. I felt very very sad. When I went to pick her up at 3 pm, she was sleeping. She promised the teacher to come back the next day. But when I was putting her to sleep, she said she didn't want to go to school without Mom.
Yesterday she started crying when she woke up. She didn't want to go to school, and she brought up all excuses she could think of - the boys are naughty, the teacher doesn't sing, the teacher scolded her ( no answer for my question of why the teacher scolded, or what she said) and more. To console her, I said I'll ask the teacher if I could sit in the school. She kept on repeating it again and again, to ask the teacher if I could sit in the school. When we reached the school, she was crying aloud. I told her I'll wait for her by the gate. But the teacher asked me to go, for seeing me makes her cry more. She was shouting, "mom, stay by the gate." I felt really sad and thought not to send her to school again. May I should have gone for some counselling before sending her to school. I went to school early to bring her back, and the teacher scolded me for taking the kid away before the time. But Aisha seemed happy, and wanted to go to school again.
At night, she asked me why I came back home when I had promised her I'll stay by the school gate. I had to lie to her. "I stayed at the gate and when I felt so hot, I moved towards the shade of a tree and sat down. That's why Aisha couldn't see me." I never thought the rest of her days were more peaceful with this one lie.
At night, I tried to explain to her that she cannot always have Mom in her life. I told her how I'm living without my Mom, and how everybody have to live their Mom at some time in their life. I asked her if her cousins are taking their moms to school. She listened silently, and at last concluded, "I need Mom at school!"
Aisha @ school.
Today, she said she felt sleepy in the morning. "I'll go to school once when I wake up after sleep." I knew she was creating another excuse to not go to school. I bathed her and dressed her and started off to school. She followed me, asking me to wait for her by the gate. I said yes. When we reached the school, she went into her classroom and sat down on the bench. No cries, no fuss. I was surprised. The teacher told me Aisha never gives her bag to the teacher. I asked Aisha to give her bag to the teacher, so that she can hang it on the wall. Aisha obeyed. I was happy to see her adapting to her new life of teachers and friends. When she came back, she said, "Mom, I was happy to know you were waiting for me in the shade of the tree." When will I be able to tell her the truth?


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